HearPeers Heroes Sandy Posted January 3, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 3, 2016 Hi Leah, like Mary Beth, Adam and Ivana have said, it takes time. Like Adam, I had electrode twelve turned off for a long time and am now in line with the rest of the electrodes. It takes teamwork with your audiologist and your family and friends. Educating them to your needs is important so they can understand the journey you are on. By the way, I hated the braces too but they helped! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Kara of Canada Posted January 3, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 3, 2016 Hi! I would like to say it is a very hard journey for anyone with any sort of disability. But, it is all about how you look at it. I like to say I am thankful that I am here to enjoy my family and spend time with them. Yes I cannot take the, anywhere as I cannot drive because of my epilepsy. I can't hear wry good but I will try my best for my family. My life has been one big doctors visit!! So I know how you feel. I have an aunt who had polio as a child. She is now 80 and can't walk anymore. But she is one of the happiest people I know. So talk a walk on the bright side. We can help with the venting ad questions, believe me these other people on the site have helped me in a great way!! Talk soon Leah, Kara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One1side Posted January 6, 2016 Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 Good to hear that at least some things are helping you. In response to some of the suggestions for my family: It is just something I don't think many of them will ever fully be able to grasp. I have had unilateral deafness most, if not all of my life and sound sensitivity for me goes with it. If I ever become unhappy about loud sounds now, my mother likes to blame it on my CI, which may cause some sensitivity, but I have had this problem long before I obtained this device. Unfortunately, I can somewhat help many people become at least partially "educated" as to what people with hearing loss might need, but my own family often feels like a lost cause. Especially in large groups they tend to conveniently "forget", tell me that something is not "that loud" or my least favorite is to say "why can't you just move or adjust". The last one may sound nice in theory, but when someone is shouting right next to you suddenly to the person in another room there is not time to do either really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Kara of Canada Posted January 6, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 Hi Winden. Well I have this problem too. So don't think that your the only person with this issue. I have many family members that refuse or just are not intelligent enough to grasp the concept of my "new hearing". They just go along on their merry way as if nothing has ever changed. Or they don't care how others are doing. So don't let it get under your skin. Try to stick with friends and family that are willing to help or understand. It also takes time for others to really notice how things do work for you. Stick with that. Relax enjoy the positive side. Take care and let us know how things are going. Kara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Adam Posted January 6, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 Tough to do though. I think all of us have dealt with that type of mentality at some time in our lives. Keep plugging away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Sandy Posted January 7, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 I agree with you Adam. Just keep plugging away. When I first had my CI, some people just expected me to instantly hear and had a hard time grasping that we take baby steps and celebrate each success. Now, after two years, when I run into adverse situations, instead of accepting the "oh never mind", I explain why I didn't hear what was being said and could they repeat it. It works most times. You will always have those that don't want to hear (pun intended)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Adam Posted January 7, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 Sandy, I have started doing the same thing. "Oh never mind" drives me nuts. Now I don't let them off the hook. If they don't know me, I can educate and ask to please repeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Ivana Marinac Posted January 7, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 Although I am not a CI user I also have these moments. I have same frustration as you. Even now, my brother who grew up with me doesn't think in that particular way when he comunicate with me. He usually starts talking with me over phone like with anyone else, half mumbling, half speaking to his beard... Then I taught myself to stop himself and ask him to repeat himself because if I just asked what?!? he would start to talk unbearably loud. Only my mother taught always - I can't remember the moment when she would not think about it and react inappropriate. Never had loud experiences - she would just turn herself and repeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Ivana Marinac Posted January 7, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 "Never-mind" also drives me nuts, especially when I taught myself finally to ask other people to repeat themselves then they stood firmly with: never mind... I actually developed defensive mechanism not to ask them to repeat than to reconstruct other people's thoughts from fragments of our conversations. I have never taught myself to read lips - later I have found that someone actually have to learn you how to do that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Adam Posted January 7, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 That is one thing that saved me was reading lips. But even being good at it, you still miss a lot of the conversation and have to piece together. Reading lips is a diminishing skill. If you do not continue with it, you can lose some of that ability. Since getting my CIs I really don't need to read lips except in certain situations. I am not as good at it as I was before my CIs. The "never mind" I take almost as an insult in that they must feel I am not worth taking the time to repeat. Luckily with the CIs, that doesn't happen much anymore. Kind of funny, a hearing person can ask you to repeat yourself a couple of times and they don't think anything about it. Oh well, the life of a Cyborg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Ivana Marinac Posted January 7, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 Yes - life of a cyborg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One1side Posted January 7, 2016 Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 I think I would be a lot happier with my immediate family if they would stop trying to talk over other sounds and/or people and address each other in the same room. They have this affinity for waiting till someone leaves the room and then shouting to them regardless of who may be standing right next to them. These tend to be my two main complaints with them. I have tried to explain it over and over, but I am always met with blank stares or some sort of suggestion that makes me look rude. Examples include "why don't you just move away from the shouting if it bothers you?"-The answer no time and no prior warning. Others is "you are just making it up or being overly sensitive." It looks like it would just take someone else who has the same sound issues as me to be present at some of the family gatherings who told them the same message for it to click that it isn't just me. I don't think that they mean to be harsh, it just does not register with them. The few times that they may do something about it, the concept is quickly forgotten or the fact that they adjusted once is seen as sufficient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Sandy Posted January 7, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 I also am finding I don't use my lip reading as much as I used to. Ivana, I was not taught how to lip read, I did it myself as a child of 7 years. Additionally, I (and I didn't realize it until much later ) developed coping mechanisms like sitting in a certain seat in school, always facing the speaker. One of the things I noticed was if I didn't have my glasses on, I couldn't hear because I couldn't see to read a person's lips. Adam, I don't take "never mind" as an insult anymore; for me what they say obviously wasn't of any importance if they can't be bothered to repeat it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Ivana Marinac Posted January 7, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 I also am finding I don't use my lip reading as much as I used to. Ivana, I was not taught how to lip read, I did it myself as a child of 7 years. Additionally, I (and I didn't realize it until much later ) developed coping mechanisms like sitting in a certain seat in school, always facing the speaker. One of the things I noticed was if I didn't have my glasses on, I couldn't hear because I couldn't see to read a person's lips. Adam, I don't take "never mind" as an insult anymore; for me what they say obviously wasn't of any importance if they can't be bothered to repeat it. Sandy, I have been reading that some people had lip-reading lectures but this is not so important because my hearing aid served me in most of situation well although I share that experience of trying best audio places or listening in the loud environment although my hearing is better. I guess it is interesting to see where 2 different types of hearing loss go separate ways and where they meet each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Adam Posted January 8, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 Most people actually lip reading and don't realize it. One exercise you can do with a typical hearing person is this. Sit in front of the tv where you are watching a person speak. Then turn down the volume while looking at the screen till you can just make out what they are saying. At that point, look down away from the screen. Chances are, you won't hear a thing except mumbling if that. As far as the family see if they would be willing to see a glimpse of what it is like to be you. Borrow some foam ear plugs and the earmuffs gun enthusiasts wear. You should be able to borrow from a local gun range. Have each of the family in attendance at dinner put in the plugs then over that, wear the ear,uff protection. Let them try to carry on a normal conversation as they usually do. If they agree to it, it will open their eyes for sure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Sandy Posted January 8, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 Funny you should say that Adam. I was so frustrated at one time, that I carried earplugs in my purse for those that frustrated me. But like you said, they would have to agree to it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Adam Posted January 8, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 Sandy maybe set up an appointment with your audiologist to help educate the family. I have seen software that shows what a hearing person hears. Then you can input the hearing thresholds of the deaf person so they (the family) can hear exactly what you hear. It can be a real eye opener. I will contact Jeff See if your Audi has such a program. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Kara of Canada Posted January 8, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 In saying that Adam that's what I think has gotten my mom into going to the Audi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Kara of Canada Posted January 8, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 She comes with me to all my appointments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Adam Posted January 8, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 I tell ya, it makes a big difference if they can actually see what you can hear and what you can't. Like I said, it can be a real eye opener Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Sandy Posted January 8, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 My frustration was mostly in the first year. I think in the last few months most of my family has seen the change in me. One nephew has remarked how great it is to have a conversation with me. One of my brother's has also remarked how well I'm hearing. Driving in the car, I can now carry on a conversation, whereas before my surgery, as I lip read, it was too dangerous. I like your idea Adam and I think it would be a great eye opener. I'll check with my audiologist next time I see her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Ivana Marinac Posted January 8, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 Yes - we are the best change what they can see. From Jesus time people don't believe if they do not put their fingers in the wound.... It's just human nature... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Kara of Canada Posted January 8, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 You're right Ivana!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Ivana Marinac Posted January 8, 2016 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 Human nature... .... and Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.