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Deaf children with dangerous tendencies


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I’m looking for resources for deaf children who have dangerous tendencies. My mother in law adopted a deaf child from China about ten years ago, and she was around 6 years old at the time. She regularly showed fits of rage that we all hoped would fade over the years. As she is getting older, she continues to have these, and she’s also getting stronger as she gets older, especially during her outbursts. It’s as if her adrenaline gives her a new sense of strength. She lives at home with my mother in law who is a widow in her sixties. My mother in law does her best to prevent her from breaking things and hurting people, but she can only do so much by herself, as her daughter can over power her.

The explosions are generally over small issues. A very recent one was when she was over at our house for a birthday party. She broke my six year old’s Lego set that he worked hard on, and he was pretty upset about it. Apparently he stuck his tongue out at her for doing this. While this wasn’t an appropriate thing to do, her response was vastly disproportionate. She started stomping, and signing very angrily, escalating quickly. My mother in law sent her outside to cool off, where she repeatedly kicked the door very hard, scaring my children. When my mother in law tried signing with her to calm down, she said she was going to beat my six year old up (she’s 17), punch him in the privates. Later she signed she was going to kill him. Later she said she wanted to bomb our house. She managed to get in, and started throwing stuff, so we all had to hold her down so she wouldn’t hurt anyone. After about an hour and a half of that, she started calming down. The next day she had a fit just as bad. 

She is on medications to help with this, but it clearly doesn’t always work. She has spent time with psychologists, psychiatrists, etc. Nothing seems to work. There is a local center for troubled youth, but they won’t accept deaf children as they don’t have an interpreter. My mother in law has called the police various times, but they see her as the poor innocent deaf girl and don’t take my mother in law seriously. A couple of times they sent her to the hospital where the doctors say, sorry, there’s nothing we can do for you.

As she’s getting older and stronger, I’m worried about my mother in law. Simply looking at her wrong could cause her daughter to grab a knife and start making threats. This isn't an exaggeration, as this has happened. 

My mother in law has worked with deaf children for years, and used to teach at a school for the deaf so had experience working with many deaf children. She hasn’t experienced this before. Are there institutions in the US that would help? My mother in law feels like she’s exhausted research, and feels pretty hopeless at this point. Everyone seems to say there’s nothing we can do for you. I’m worried that it’s only a matter of time before her daughter really hurts her. 

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  • 2 months later...

A child with a hearing impairment will still have to be taken to kindergarten and school. Of course, it will be more difficult for him to get along with his peers. Up to six or seven, it is possible not to take your child to kindergarten but to work with them at home. But this is only on the condition that you will give all of yourself to the training and development of the child. It will still be easier for a child to adapt to a social environment, and he will have to learn to communicate. Such a child can be helped in a safe home https://fosterplus.org. Children with disabilities need more time. Don't be afraid to ask other people for help.

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