Marion Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 Activated 6 months ago and I have been diligent in my daily exercises of rehabilitation. Had lunch out at times which as we all know can be challenging but on a one two one basis I can cope. But as you all know it is very challenging when there are a number of people and it is difficult to keep up and I admit it is a relief when it is all over with. I have been invited to a fund raising event and as my friend explained what the 3 hours would entail I found myself groaning inwardly and knew for 3 hours I would be nodding and smiling and hoping I could keep up. I actually want to refuse the invite and send a cheque via mail!! Of course I feel such a defeatist having those thoughts and should be up for any challenge and treat the whole thing as an exercise. On the other hand I`m thinking I should cut myself some slack and continue to choose my comfort level which at the moment is having lunch with a friend and feeling satisfied that I did pretty well. I`m hoping as time passes and my hearing improves I will be able to cope better. Having said that it doesn`t stop me feeling guilty if I duck out on these events. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Mary Beth Posted September 23, 2015 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 Hi Marion, I think we all should listen to our bodies and give ourselves a break when needed. You do not need to feel bad about that. We also can benefit from putting ourselves in challenging listening situations and seeing how we do. There is no need to accept every challenging listening situation invitation. Listen to your body. If it's not time for that situation, opt out. We work very hard on a daily basis. Sometimes we need a break. Mary Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marion Posted September 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 Thank you Mary Beth. For most of my life I`ve always accepted invitations which of course are kindly meant and a lot of times did not want to attend but it would be impolite to refuse and I wasn`t hard of hearing then!! So now for me to actually respond negatively is hard....but I`m coming around to thinking, as you point out, to listen to our bodies and to give ourselves a break. In another 6 months it may be a different story. Marion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HearPeers Heroes Mary Beth Posted September 23, 2015 HearPeers Heroes Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 Great Marion! I bet things will be different in another 6 months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melchang Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 Hi Marion, I understand your feelings well. I hated to be in a crowded restaurant, always hesitated to show up in a seminar or workshop in a big room. The embarrassment often bothered me when people enthusiastically talked to me, and I asked them to slow down yet still couldn't understand their words completely. Both my ears are in the range of mild to moderate in low frequency, most time I can catch words in low frequency and missed words in high frequency. The situation of mild to moderate in low frequency and severe to profound in high frequency frequently gave irrelevant answers in a conversation and made people think I was either stupid or had no interest to chat with them. Only those people who live/d with hearing impaired can immediately figure out my hearing problem. Life became harder after I relocated from east coast to S.F. bay area for a job. People are extremely busy with their careers and families, asking for help is impractical. I am not disabled by government standard, that means I couldn't get help from government agencies. In a few years after financial market crashed down, S.F. bay area became unfriendly to handicapped, startups, small to mid size companies, even recruiting firms didn't know American Disability Act, indeed they didn't care. Phone screen interview was a must at that time. If I told the recruiter I was hearing impaired and asked for a chance of on site interview, mostly there was no follow up response. That was the hardest time in my life, but I never gave up hope. I visited and was denied by Department of Rehab several times, eventually a counselor gave me a chance. She referred me to see a counselor in Speech and Hearing center, I met an audiologist there. She strongly recommended me to see a cochlear implant specialist for evaluation. Cochlear implant evaluation inspired my hope. I cherished when my audiologist told me I could participate in EAS trial program. I realized CI gave me a great chance to solve my problems and achieve my goals: I don't have to fear phone conversation with strangers, I don't have to scare of seminar, workshop or lecture in a big room, in a crowded restaurant, I don't have to worry misunderstandings between me and co-founder, I am able to present a pitch to venture capitalist, most importantly, I don't need closed captions in any videos. Unfortunately, Post CI surgery recovery seemed not okay. I've been suffering for a year with symptoms of 24/7 loud tinnitus, fullness of aural, frequent dizziness, now occasional nauseous feeling. Most time I could not wear audio processor, otherwise, the symptoms become more and more worse, I can't drive much and long distance as what I did pre-surgery since extreme fatigue causing by fighting with loud tinnitus and dizziness will lead to accident. My mom sighed once, "God doesn't like you. He gave too much hard times in your life." Well, I said to my mom, "At a certain point I am unlucky to some people, but compared to the kids who born and grew up in a single parent, drug and alcohol addiction, or domestic violent family, I am lucky to born in a well-educated financially secure family. You and daddy sacrificed your life to come to the States in order to give me a new life so I can live in a handicapped friendly society." No matter how hard life it is, I don't want to give up hope and fight till the end of my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marion Posted September 24, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 Thanks Mary Beth. Looking forward to be able to exclaim "Hear, Hear!!" in 6 months time. Hi Mel. Thank you for your input. Sorry you are struggling with tinnitus...I can relate had this problem for about 17 years and as you say it can be very loud. I`m on medication for dizziness. For the most part I try and not think about my tinnitus even though it is loud I try and concentrate harder on whatever I am doing. I was hoping with the CI it would disappear but not so. Best wishes and I hope things get better for you. Marion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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